Doctorate for Jumping

Doctorate for Jumping

November 2019

It always makes me laugh when I see a sports person receiving a doctorate. In this case we have the triple jumper Jonathon Edwards.

Would that be a standard pass or distinction for jumping just that little bit further?

The Triple-Jump comes a close 2nd with the High-jump for the most stupid of sports.

When a person studies for a doctorate, the usual path in the UK is to leave school at the age of 16 with a wad of GCSEs [worthless] or O-levels under your arm. You then spend 2 years at college studying for 3 A-levels. Get good grades in these and then move up the rungs of the ladder to spend 3 years studying for a degree. If you still think you've got what it takes then carry on climbing onto an MSc or MPhil for another year, and finally waste a minimum of 3 years of your life completing a PhD. You'll be lucky if you exit this long path younger than the age of 25.

I don't have a problem with Jonathon Edwards being able to jump further than a frog but his old track and sand discipline had its own award system in non-precious metal medals on ribbon bands that are placed around one's neck. The academic award system is pieces of paper that say BEng, MPhil and PhD. The two are very different worlds. People like Jonathon Edwards are donned a silly hat and cloak for doing fuck all academically but for a non-academic pursuit of jumping further than any other living human. The only reason why someone like Edwards is awarded a doctorate is to bring him into the club and try and add a bit of celebrity-ism to what is an otherwise boring group of academics. To help get a bit of publicity for a boring old fart university. Yes, I'm a cynical old fart but the problem is that I know I'm right.