National Hypochondria Service

NHS - National Hypochondria Service

July 2020

Taking the Piss or Taking the King's Shilling?

The saying "To take the King’s shilling" is used when a person signs up for the Armed Forces but when fighting breaks out they don't want any part of it. The Spring 2020 CV-19 outbreak saw a variant of this but not in the Armed Forces but the NHS.

UKGov's endlessly reiterated plan of "Protect the NHS" manifested itself as effectively "temporarily" closing down all non-CV-19 units. In the UK there were around 2.3 million cancer sufferers, many of whom had tests and treatment cancelled. Why? To stop the spread or to "Protect the NHS"? Don't hospitals deal with illness and disease? Don't doctors and nurses take an oath to help those in need to alleviate pain and suffering?

When the NHS was rolled out in 1948, Bevan's 4 guiding principles for the reformed health service were:

  • To be free at the point of use.

  • Available to everyone who needs it.

  • Paid for out of general taxation.

  • To be used responsibly.

What happened to "Available to everyone who needs it" when CV-19 came along? This is why many staff who worked for the NHS were guilty of taking the King's shilling. When the people who funded the NHS needed it most it let many people down.

A Cataract Operation

My own father was due an operation in March 2020 to have a cataract removed. He was unlucky as his operation was cancelled just a few days before UKGov's "Protect the NHS" and lockdown-meltdown bullshit commenced. He had already waited months for this operation but it was cancelled by those taking the King's shilling. In July [3 months later with greatly reduced quality of life] he was contacted about proceeding with the operation. He received the following instructions:

  • Self-isolate for a period of 14 days [even though there have been known cases up to 28 days of transmission] before a CV-19 test.

  • To be tested for CV-19, the results of which would be sent straight to the hospital performing the operation.

  • If the test proved negative [could be a false negative] then he would be allowed to proceed with the operation.

  • If the test proved positive [could be a false positive] then he would go back to square one and again self-isolate for a period of 14 days.

A national health service full of hypochondriacs.


If you were unfortunate enough to have had an acute tooth ache during the "Protect the NHS" period then you would have found on telephoning your local dental surgery that they were closed. You would have been re-directed to a "dental hub" at which they would either prescribe antibiotics or remove the tooth. That's right - straight forward fillings were reduced to tooth extraction. A national dental service reduced to something out of the Dark Ages of a barber bearing a pair of pliers.

By June/July many NHS dental surgeries had re-opened but the dentists were not permitted to pick up a drill and perform "wet" treatments. Only "dry" treatments were allowed, consisting of prescribing antibiotics to try and kill a localised infection or perform a temporary filling.

If you paid a visit to your dentist during this bullshit, the procedure was as follows:

  • Phone your dental surgery to make an appointment.

  • Be asked a series of questions as to whether you'd been tested positive for CV-19 or whether anyone in "your bubble" had tested positive. If you answered Yes to any of these questions I don't know what would happen but suspect they would not treat you and send you to the gallows.

  • Provided you were either CV-19 free or bullshited your way through this layer then you'd be assigned an appointment.

  • The usual paperwork to be completed and signed at the dental surgery reception desk was replaced by having to complete the required paperwork beforehand online; see below.

  • On the day/time of attending your appointment you would be provided with a mobile number to phone because the surgery door would be locked at all times. You would call to say you had arrived at the surgery and were standing outside like a mug. The receptionist would instruct you to go back to your car, vehicle, bicycle or wherever and await a call back.

  • The receptionist would call you and say words to the effect "The dentist is ready to see you now. Can you make your way to the dental surgery door."

  • On arriving at the dental surgery door a dentist or nurse would unlock the door and let you in. You would then be asked to use a hands-free hand sanitizer. The medical person would then take your temperature using a laser non-contact gun. You would be asked a second time all of the questions you were asked over the phone about you and your bubble's contact with the mysterious bug. If you again passed or bluffed your way through this phase you were allowed to enter the dentist's surgery - a room with a funny looking reclined chair.

  • You would be greeted by the dentist and assistant who would both be stood looking like apprentice astronauts with their CV-19 protective gear on.

  • Treatment would consist of "dry" only treatment, prescribed antibiotics or tooth extraction.

Below is a screenshot of a completed CV-19 questionnaire with all questions answered No. If any of these questions were assigned a Yes, I have no idea as to whether you would receive treatment:

The Facts

The harsh fact of UKGov's "Protect the NHS" and closing down standard tests and treatments is that it has resulted in excess home deaths. It is one of the most damning consequences of UKGov’s lockdown that I know of. The following graph is direct from the Office for National Statistics and shows just home deaths between March and June 2020.

UK deaths at home from March through to June 2020. The pale blue bars show the 5 year averaged weekly values, the red the CV-19 deaths and the dark blue the non-CV-19 deaths.

The Greatest Gift

The greatest gift is not a material object but the ability to alleviate pain suffering from another person or animal. Medics - this is what you dreamt of when a teenager. All those years studying long and hard. Years as a junior doctor perfecting your craft in the greatest profession of all. You are highly trained and skilled professionals. You are well paid for what you do. Whatever you require we will do our best to ensure you have the necessary tools and equipment. We place our trust in your hands. Then, what do you do to us? When we need you, you stay at home furloughed, watching daytime television. Forgive me, but I am not clapping.

Throughout the Spring 2020 CV-19 outbreak, the NHS truly did descend into the National Hypochondria Service for a non-pandemic tackling a virus that was less fatal than standard flu.

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COVID-19 and Project Fear

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